Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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