I can tuck mytits in my pants
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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