From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
