its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
