My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
time to smoke my breakfast
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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