What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
