your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
