well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
