I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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