I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
