High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
