you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
