I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
