would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
