I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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