dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
