So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
