That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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