are you still at the devil's house?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
