she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
