considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
