did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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