He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
