I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
