Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
