As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Pants are for mortals
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
