I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize