Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
