I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
