I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
