I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
