420 ftw
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
