Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
