the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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