as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
