so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
