normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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