no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
