I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
