No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
