Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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