I love black thongs
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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