you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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