Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
