have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
a search helicopter?!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
