giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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