Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
be right there i have to get my cape
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
