thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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