I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I will die if light touches me.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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