I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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