using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
