Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
