What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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