Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
