I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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