I think I am morally bankrupt
I forgot how hot balto sounded
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
