The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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