i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i will never coherently bang her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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