U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
